A timePort opened on the Aldwych end of Waterloo Bridge in London today around 11.15am. Two time travellers emerged. Sent from Andy Warhol’s secret time machine in The Factory, they failed to properly calculate what fashion would be like 40 years in the future. The man and woman were dressed alike in head to toe velvet suits, complete with soft velvet slippers, peroxide blonde hair and bold plastic rimmed glasses. A close observer would have noted the complete lack of metal on their clothes – everyone knows by now that you cannot bring metal through the timePort. Plus, you have to fast for 24 hours beforehand so you arrive famished. Fortunately for them there was a Tesco Express nearby so that’s where they started their mission.
ps. this is a true story